Mood journal – Check-ins from inside the journey
This is me, checking in with myself on the journey.
Today I felt strong enough to build my Christmas tree. I know, it's early, but last year I was bedridden and couldn't decorate at all... So I want to enjoy my tree as much as possible this year!
After building the tree, I felt like my body needed a break, so I stopped.
I'll add the ornaments another time.
I'm really happy because I did this very calmly, laughing with my cat, taking my time, and enjoying every second.
A few months before I got sick, 2 years ago, I remember building this very same tree. I was in a huge rush all the time, annoyed and stressed, and I remember bursting into tears just because some decoration was broken... My system was under so much pressure and dysregulated back then. 😭
The difference between old Me and new Me is huge, even if I'm not fully recovered yet. And I measure it with the state I'm in during simple activities like this one. I guess that's what healing is truly about.
Today, I was in a dip.
My mood is low, and my energy is low. For now.
I've been unlocking a lot of new understandings lately. Through therapy, talking openly with my loved ones, and being honest with myself... I know this is a lot to take in for my nervous system.
Dips are like small earthquakes. They make our inner world shake to realign.
To keep your balance when the ground is trembling, you have to stop moving forward and focus on standing firmly on your feet, until it passes.
Today, my system needed a break to test my new foundations.
Growth → plateau & consolidation → new growth.
🎵 Background music of today: Alexandra Stréliski - Plus tôt
Today I would like to share my victory, because it means a lot to me. I was finally able to get back on my bike and ride around the block. It's an electric bike, which helps!
I used to ride my bike everywhere, all the time. It was an important part of my life. The last time I rode my bike was to go for a Covid test... you know what happened next.
I'm getting back on my bike for the first time in almost two years. I imagined this scene a million times in my head when I was bedridden in a dark room. I'm so happy!
